Trust

Nobody but you cares about the reason you let another person down.

Weinberg’s First Law of Trust, The Secrets of Consulting

Trust is simple. If I trust you, it means that I can rely on you to fulfill your commitments. It has little to do with honesty or intentions: if your record is one of not fulfilling commitments then, regardless of the reasons, I’m not going to trust you.

You only establish trust only by having a record of keeping commitments.

Don’t make commitments you can’t keep

You need to be conscious of the commitments you do make, and realistic about the environment and your own abilities. You also need to resist the pressure to commit to impossible deadlines; this can be very difficult especially if you are under pressure and want to appear co-operative. A trick I often forget is to just say “I want to be co-operative, but I don’t want to commit to something I may not be able to fulfil. I need more time.”

Do make commitments

It might be tempting to err on the safe side and avoid making commitments. You’re not losing trust, but you’re not building trust. Ali Law talked about trust a few years ago at an Agile Scotland presentation: he tells his consultants to build trust gradually with a client, beginning with making and fulfilling small commitments.

“I’ll definitely get those accounts to you” is too open ended. I like to give (and make a note of) a specific date or time for things. If I say “I’ll get those accounts to you by the end of Friday”, then it is clear when I’m in breach of my word.

Negotiate

The route from unreasonable demands to to commitments that you can keep is by negotiation. That’s a skill I need to work on.

Be clear about what is expected

Most fall-outs I’ve had with clients and colleagues have occurred when my understanding of an agreement differed from their understanding. It’s worth looking for ambiguities and getting things written down. An email “just to confirm what we agreed…..” may be sufficient.

Give bad news early

If you’ve made a commitment you can’t keep, then the earlier you break the news the less bad it’s going to be for you. This too, is hard. If I’m not being self-aware I can easily fool myself that I’ll make up for lost time; I don’t think I’m the only person that does this, either.

Update: replaced "Secrets of Consulting" book link for a more trustworthy one.

Friday, February 09, 2007 | Permalink | 2 Comments